My goals

The turn of a new year usually entitles people to re-evaluate their previous year and set resolutions for the new year. Well let me just tell you one thing. I refuse to make a New Year's RESOLUTION. People always break them anyway. So I'm going to make a few goals.

There's only two main goals I have.

My first goal is to be more healthy. I plan to make better decisions about what I put into my mouth and increase my physical activity. That means less sweets, and boy do I love sweats. That means I can't go rad the candy box in Germany's classroom. No! No! I don't want to say I can't. I want to say that it would be unhealthy to rad the candy box. See, it's something in this head of mine about telling myself I CAN'T do something, or I MUST do something else. Because the minute I saw can't eat something, then I'll go right ahead and do it anyway. Then I'll feel guilty and you guessed it, eat even more because I try to soothe my emotions with food. Blah! I don't like that about myself. But I'm working on it. I'm going to work on being healthier person. Mind you, I'm NOT dieting, at least that's what I'm telling myself, because diets just don't work for me. I'm just making healthier decisions, which will hopefully cause a better appearance! I also plan to join Curves. I hope I've talked my neighbor Chouna into going with me. It helps if you have a workout buddy. I sure do miss my best friend Danica. We went three times a week starting this time last year. We supported each other, although she didn't really need the support. She's already a healthy size. Once I got married, I stopped any physical activity. Bad decision- UNHEALTHY decision. See, I'm already working on it.

My second goal is original. This goal is just for me and not every other American woman's new years resolution. The goal is... da da da daaaaa... to be more trusting. I have a problem with trusting people. Once I meet someone, it's going to take a while until I open up and let them see who I really am. Growing up I was very shy. I grew out of the shyness stage, I think. But one may think I'm shy upon our introduction. But I don't feel shy, because boy let me tell you, my mind is racing 90 mph trying to figure you out the second you tell me your name. And it usually takes a while before I feel safe around you. Some people I've known for years and still do not, and may never, trust. Now, you see, there's some people in this world that never need to be trusted anyway. But there's some people in my world that I should give a chance. See, the problem is I don't even attempt to give people a chance from the start. I may size someone up from the second I meet them. And if I don't size them up that second, chances are that I'm going to analyze our conversations at some point until I decide whether or not I feel safe with them. That's a problem. I know it. So I'm going to work on opening up, letting people see into my world. Yikkkeeessss. That's a scary thought. I don't like people visiting my world. You see, I once let this idiot of a girl into my world. I trusted her too soon. And what did the booty head do before I had time to get control of the situation? She HURT me. Yes, HURT me. And it was at a time I was so fragile. It was at a point in my life that I felt like posting a "handle with care" sign to my forehead. And let me just tell you something else, while I'm being so honest and all. If someone hurts me, I come back fighting. HARD. With darts. With swords. I've been known to push buttons that people didn't even know they had. Do NOT hurt this girl! No siree! Whew! I get fired up just thinking about it. But that was a few years ago, and I know, I know, I need to let that ship sail but... whew, it's hard to do. But I know not every person is a villain like she was, not everyone is set out to hurt me like she did. So, with all that said, it's just a little hard for me to open up at first. From here on out my goal is to be more open, more trusting. New year, new goal. Maybe I'll fill you in throughout the year on how the trusting goal is going.

That's all for now.