Indescribable Moment

Today in church I felt something I've never experienced before. It was a feeling that is almost indescribable. As the preacher introduced the sermon, I began to listen.

He began speaking on the word HOPE. Now my ears began to perk up at this point because I have a friend that is living by the word HOPE this year. All during the first part of the service, I kept thinking to myself how I wished my friend was there to hear this. I just KNEW this service was meant for HER. Now you see, this is a problem I have (first step in getting help is admitting the proble, right?). Everytime a sermon is underway, I begin wondering WHO God is trying to speak to today. One Sunday I thought this friend is going through some financial problems would really benefit from that message, and another on dealing with marital problems, etc. Well, the past two Sundays I've acknowledged the problem and redirected my thought process. I prayed, "Lord, speak to ME. My friend is not sitting here, and I am, so maybe I can share this sermon with her later. But for right now, speak to ME. Show ME what you want ME to gain from this sermon. Not anyone else." Just as I was praying that prayer I got this hungry feeling inside. Not the kind of hungar that you normally feel around 11:30 on a Sunday morning that causes your stomach to rumble. But the kind of hungar that can only be filled by the Holy Spirit and God alone.

I sat there anxiously grasping every word that came from my pastor's mouth. The preacher began talking so fast, almost too fast, and I wanted to make sure I processed every single word. I felt like every word was very precious and would go to waste if I did not catch it. So there I set, hungry and yearning to be filled with His message. All I could do was close my eyes, shut out all distractions, and let those beautiful words pour into my heart. It was like I could feel God's arms wrap around ME, His child. I no longer heard my pastor, I heard God, via my pastor. As the sermon came to a close, and the invitation time (wouldn't be a Baptist church without and invitational time) came, I couldn't stand up and sing as we were instructed. I was in AWE of God and what just happened. All I could do was sit on the pew and be still. I begin thanking God for reminding me that He gives the pastor words to speak that are meant for ME. I need to be able to take something home from it. That is exactly what I did.

I am learning to be still, and let God speak to me. The sermon was on how the church PRAYED for Peter. Because of there prayers, God listened and sent an angel to walk Peter out of jail, past the guards, and through the gates. The people were in disbelief when they heard Peter knocking on their door where they were still praying (Acts 12:1-19). Now how does this relate to hope? The church, and Peter, were in a time of distress. They begin praying and starting having hope. Hope is where there is a praying church. Because of prayer, you are able to have hope. Hope to move on, hope to get out, hope in a time of sorrow, and a hope that gives a glimpse of things to come.

So this leads me to another goal. I have plans to be a physically and mentally healthier person (and successfully doing so). There's just one IMPORTANT area I have not yet put on the list for improvement. That is my spiritual well being, my relationship with Christ. My goal is to pray MORE. Not just the usual nightly, or pop-up prayers that I'm already doing. But to really CRY OUT in prayer to my heavenly Father, Leader, and Healer.

Now, I just ate my healthy dinner, I'm still working on my positive attitude, now I am off to have a LONG quiet time with my Savior!

Healthy-Inside and Out

Well, the healthy lifestyle is off to a good start. The "healthy" plan I'm working on is the Curves Plan. It's a thirty day "diet" that is 3 phases. Each phase allows you to add a few more carbs, protein, fat, and calories to the slim amount you are allowed to start off with. Right now, I'm still in the first phase. And boy, it is tough. I don't feel like I'm a very pleasant person to be around right now because I'm not used to eating so, er, healthy. It's like it's draining all my energy, I've had a continuous headache the past two days, and blah, blah, blah. I am having to try EXTRA hard to put on my happy face. I just keep reminding myself that this is to help me become a more healthier person. God says that my body is a temple and I should not destroy it. All the cookie dough, sweets, and candy destroys it so I've had to cut that out!

Now that I'm trying to become a physically healthier person, I decided I may as well clean up my internal health as well. This past weekend I was really convicted of my sour additude that I've had lately. I've been so negative about... well everything! So my prayer has been that God purify my heart, and give me clean hands. It's a refreshing feeling I've had since I had a little talk with God this weekend. I did some apologizing, repenting, and asking for help. So another goal to add to my list is to have a positive attitude!

So lots is going on this week, internally and externally. It has been a VERY challenging week I must say. When I get frustrated, whether I'm craving some fattening, unhealthy food, or having a negative, impure thought, God quickly flashes me a little sign and says "Hey, it's okay, you can do this, TRUST ME!"

My prayer is that God will continue to purify my heart, give me clean hands, and give me the strength and will power to keep this healthy eating lifestyle up! If you are reading this, I'm going to be selfish in asking that you say a quick little prayer for me, especially this week! Thank you! :)

To be, or not to be.... PRODUCTIVE!

So I'm sitting at home mid-morning on a weekday. That's because school is CLOSED today. It was closed yesterday, and half a day on Tuesday due to busted water pipes in Jackson. Since Byram runs off Jackson's water line, our school is without water. Many fellow teachers like the idea of staying at home. I do not like sitting at home. Because when I am stuck at home, I literally just sit here. It's very unproductive and I do not like it. I would rather be sticking to my schedule at work, about to begin my 5th period class. Yesterday, the only productive thing I did was wash two loads of clothes and go to Curves. The rest of the time I was sitting in my comfy chair with the T.V. turned to HGTV ALL day. Guilty, so unproductive!

V-day is quickly approaching! It'll be our first married Valentines Day so I am planning a weekend trip for just the two of us! It's been fun planning a little outing!

The first part of the week Daniel was "away on business" to New Mexico. When I was younger and still living at home, I told my mom I wanted to marry a businessman that would travel on business trips. Granted, this was after some silly COUNTRY boy broke my heart. I told her I was through with the country bumpkins that would never make it out of their mobile homes, would always live in Lincoln County, and would never want me to work so I could spend all my time at home taking care of the kids and the sloppy husband. And what do you know... several years later, I'm living in the Jackson area with the best job ever and happily married to a "businessman" who's "away on business!" Love it!!! Although, I do not like staying home alone. But that's another story. I did good this week! Cooper kept Daniel's pillow warm at night and let me snuggle up to him. (Don't forget, Cooper is my PUPPY!) Mom offered to come stay with me a night or two but I ended up being fine staying by myself.

Cooper is going on a play date with Colby this afternoon. Colby is my friend Katie's puppy. What else are teacher's who do not have to report to work supposed to do? That's right, allow our babies to go on play dates, that's what!

Hopefully I will be back to work tomorrow. But that all depends on the water situation! That's all for now.

So far, so good

Good news! I've started going back to Curves! It certainly is not as fun without Danica being there but it'll have to do.

It was back to work for me this week. I was ready to be back doing what I love most, teaching kids. Daniel likes me even more that I've started teaching. He says I must boss kids around all day and tired by the time I've come home because I don't spend all my time at home bossing him around. Ha ha, such a jokster!

Cooper has been obnoxiously hyper in this week. I guess he was used to us being home the past two weeks and running around wherever he pleased. Now he spends 8 or more hours pinned in the guest bathroom (his room) until Daniel or I get home. Once we get home, he runs laps all through the house non-stop. He's wild! He also did a very BAD thing this week. He started chewing on cords! UGH!! He chewed the power cord to the internet modem into PIECES. We had to get another one. AND he chewed Daniel's power cord to his laptop. Needless to say, he has spent lots of time in time out this week!

I've enjoyed reading all my friends new years resolutions or goals! So far I'm sticking to my goals!

My goals

The turn of a new year usually entitles people to re-evaluate their previous year and set resolutions for the new year. Well let me just tell you one thing. I refuse to make a New Year's RESOLUTION. People always break them anyway. So I'm going to make a few goals.

There's only two main goals I have.

My first goal is to be more healthy. I plan to make better decisions about what I put into my mouth and increase my physical activity. That means less sweets, and boy do I love sweats. That means I can't go rad the candy box in Germany's classroom. No! No! I don't want to say I can't. I want to say that it would be unhealthy to rad the candy box. See, it's something in this head of mine about telling myself I CAN'T do something, or I MUST do something else. Because the minute I saw can't eat something, then I'll go right ahead and do it anyway. Then I'll feel guilty and you guessed it, eat even more because I try to soothe my emotions with food. Blah! I don't like that about myself. But I'm working on it. I'm going to work on being healthier person. Mind you, I'm NOT dieting, at least that's what I'm telling myself, because diets just don't work for me. I'm just making healthier decisions, which will hopefully cause a better appearance! I also plan to join Curves. I hope I've talked my neighbor Chouna into going with me. It helps if you have a workout buddy. I sure do miss my best friend Danica. We went three times a week starting this time last year. We supported each other, although she didn't really need the support. She's already a healthy size. Once I got married, I stopped any physical activity. Bad decision- UNHEALTHY decision. See, I'm already working on it.

My second goal is original. This goal is just for me and not every other American woman's new years resolution. The goal is... da da da daaaaa... to be more trusting. I have a problem with trusting people. Once I meet someone, it's going to take a while until I open up and let them see who I really am. Growing up I was very shy. I grew out of the shyness stage, I think. But one may think I'm shy upon our introduction. But I don't feel shy, because boy let me tell you, my mind is racing 90 mph trying to figure you out the second you tell me your name. And it usually takes a while before I feel safe around you. Some people I've known for years and still do not, and may never, trust. Now, you see, there's some people in this world that never need to be trusted anyway. But there's some people in my world that I should give a chance. See, the problem is I don't even attempt to give people a chance from the start. I may size someone up from the second I meet them. And if I don't size them up that second, chances are that I'm going to analyze our conversations at some point until I decide whether or not I feel safe with them. That's a problem. I know it. So I'm going to work on opening up, letting people see into my world. Yikkkeeessss. That's a scary thought. I don't like people visiting my world. You see, I once let this idiot of a girl into my world. I trusted her too soon. And what did the booty head do before I had time to get control of the situation? She HURT me. Yes, HURT me. And it was at a time I was so fragile. It was at a point in my life that I felt like posting a "handle with care" sign to my forehead. And let me just tell you something else, while I'm being so honest and all. If someone hurts me, I come back fighting. HARD. With darts. With swords. I've been known to push buttons that people didn't even know they had. Do NOT hurt this girl! No siree! Whew! I get fired up just thinking about it. But that was a few years ago, and I know, I know, I need to let that ship sail but... whew, it's hard to do. But I know not every person is a villain like she was, not everyone is set out to hurt me like she did. So, with all that said, it's just a little hard for me to open up at first. From here on out my goal is to be more open, more trusting. New year, new goal. Maybe I'll fill you in throughout the year on how the trusting goal is going.

That's all for now.